I’ve lied. To everyone. It’s not one of those, you’ll-never-talk-to-me-again kind of lies. It's more of a fib, I guess. It’s just that I realized the other day, when I told someone how happy I was and then had a sad moment a few hours later, that it’s not completely true. I don’t wake up, bursting from bleached white duvets, into a room full of sunlight, singing, looking gorgeous and feeling like a million bucks. I’m not a tv ad. I’m not fake. I’m real.
I guess what I should have been saying these past few months is that I am content. With contentment comes moments of anger, disappointment, sadness, elation, boredom, you name it. But within all of those feelings, there is an acknowledgment of being okay with it all. I am so focused on the good parts of how I feel overall, that the not-so-great moments are just like little storm cells, passing over. What I’ve learned is that there’s always blue sky on the other side. And really, it’s just that. I know they will pass. Some storms take more time, but I consciously do not give them energy or fuel their fires, because the other side is just so much more fulfilling.
Don’t drown in the negative. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t burst your bubble with regrets. Keep looking forward and be proud of the little things that put a smile on your face. Replay your high points. Share out your successes, and don’t ever let someone make you rethink them. If you think something is awesome it is, no matter what someone else says later on. Look to horrible situations and sift through them to find the little morsels of positive woven through them. And then feel the warmth those tiny pieces give you. Eventually, you will do this without trying. Contentment won’t come from searching for it. It will find you. And take over your life. Which is amazing. :) ~ nina